Warning: the following post may be of a sensitive nature. Reader’s discretion is advised.
We have discussed in previous blog posts how to have lucid dreams, and what you can do in lucid dreams. But one topic we have not touched on yet is the “why” because many people will have different reasons why they want to have lucid dreams. But one prevailing reason for wanting to learn to lucid dream is the ability to fulfill one’s ultimate fantasy: to be with their dream partner via lucid dream sex.
What is lucid dream sex?
As the name implies, lucid dream sex is having sex while in a lucid dream. The vivid nature of lucid dreams, coupled with the dreamer’s ability to control the dream scene, is what makes lucid dream sex lucrative to beginners or curious people who won’t try lucid dreaming. How can it not be, after all? It is a prospect most people will have at one point or another, to be able to be intimate with a long-time crush, a celebrity, an ex-lover, and so on, without having the face the hardships (or consequences) in doing so in the real world.
And it can be as real as it gets. Scientific studies have shown that the sexual act itself and the orgasm that follows in lucid dream sex, most of the time also include the physical responses as if it was done in real life. Increased heart rate, muscular contractions, and even physical orgasms for both men and women. This is similar to wet dreams that pubescent teens go through during puberty.
With that said, how can anyone not want to try lucid dreaming? Right?
Well, the truth of the matter is, it’s not as easy as it sounds.
Intimacy and connection
One thing that people misunderstand about lucid dreaming is the prospect of “doing whatever I want!” And while technically this can be true for many other aspects of lucid dreaming, it is not the case when it comes to interacting with characters in the dream. Just as people are not objects to be manipulated outside in the real world, so too are dream characters not there simply for use for the dreamer. There have been many cases wherein the dreamer, despite being truly lucid, at best gets rejected by the dream characters constantly, or at worst, transforms into someone mad, aggressive, and even looks terrifying and monstrous. In fact, horrible character transformations are a common occurrence in lucid dream sex, and it’s not because the dreamer is not lucid dreaming correctly.
It’s because when it comes to lucid dream sex, an intimate connection has to be present first, just like how it is with most sex in real life. Even a one-night stand starts with a spark, a common connection between the two participants before it happens. It is a basic human trait to desire a connection of some sort. But because many people can easily disregard this valuable part of the sexual experience, what with being exposed to modern culture’s idea of being able to treat sex lightly and often the objectification of sexual partners, this is often brought into the dream which causes the lucid dream sex experience to fail. Unless of course, the dream partner ends up as a mindless automaton (which can happen) who will simply do as you please, in which case, no connections are needed. But for the most part, this isn’t the case.
Make a connection. This is the key to initiating proper lucid dream sex. There are several ways to do this, which are, coincidentally, very similar to how one can make a connection in the real world.
- Talk – When you see your desired sexual partner in your dream, don’t just suddenly grab them and try to go straight to the act. Talk to them first. Remember that whoever that partner is, they are projections of how you know and see that person, from your own subconscious, and as such their motivations in that dream may not always be to have sex with you. Talking to them, learning about them, and in turn, them learning about you helps create that connection necessary.
- Keep eye contact – Just like how keeping eye contact in real life can show sincerity and be truthful, so too in the dream world. Eye contact is a very powerful tool, and doing so can greatly increase the chances that your partner will give consent and not suddenly transform into a hideous beast.
- Go through the motions – Whatever sexual act you’re aiming for in your dream, don’t rush things. Let go and go through the motions. Why rush things when you can enjoy the experience fully, right? Intimate acts like kissing, holding each other in an embrace, and so on, maybe initiated by yourself or your partner prior to having sex itself, so this is part of the process. As well, rushing beyond what your sexual partner is preprogrammed to be comfortable with may turn the experience sour, and result in them rejecting you mid-act or the aforementioned terrifying transformation.
Remember that lucid dream sex is a chance for you to explore your desires safely and in the confines of your own mind, so don’t be afraid to spend the time and experiment. But as with anything, practice is key, and if something goes wrong or not to your liking, just remember that you are in control, and can simply choose to wake up from the lucid dream experience.
And as with all lucid dreams, binaural beats can help! Listen to this binaural beats track for desires and get started on exploring the sexual possibilities of lucid dreaming!
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