SAVE YOURSELF: How To Deal With Negative People
A person is toxic to your health if his or her behavior makes you feel bad on a regular basis. Clearly, there are exceptions to this guideline. For example, if a close friend or family member shares a concern about your behavior with a spirit of wanting to improve your relationship, you may feel bad and your sense of emotional well-being may take a temporary hit, but it doesn’t make sense to label such friends or family members as being toxic.
Think of this situation………
You’re in the best of moods and the day feels just great. Suddenly you feel sapped of energy and your spirits have been diminished. What is the source of your
depression? You’ve just encountered someone who has a bad attitude and it has cast a spell over your own mood. While it’s a personal choice to seek to bounce the negative moods of others, it’s not always that easy because emotions are contagious and we involuntarily empathize with others around us and to tune into their emotions.
Unfortunately, it is easy to feel like toxic people are almost everywhere in your life. Your toxic reaction to these people can easily cast a spell on your mood. Thus, you may give way to anger, sadness, and complaints. You should take charge of defending yourself and do something to get rid of the discomfort caused by the time spent with people who are constantly swallowing your life energy. It’s necessary to find all possible ways to avoid negative people, because you may lose the chance to live happily and enjoy life. If you let their negativity get to you, you’ll have a risk to lose your optimistic outlook. They can even grind down your inner world and your sense of self-worth.
Read these few pieces of advice on how to protect yourself from people that are “toxic-to-your-health”:
Talk about something positive. If you are talking to a toxic person then you’d better take an initiative to lead the conversation. Try to avoid topics that can make the conversation tensed and unpleasant. Try to talk about positive things to lighten the mood of the whole company. It may take you some time to develop the skill to lead a pleasant conversation under the emotional pressure of toxic people. But, you’ll be able to handle the situation and stay positive.
Limit your exposure. Think of ways to limit the time you spend with toxic people. Can you physically shift away from them? Can you arrange your day so that your schedule doesn’t meet theirs? For example, if you live with a toxic person, maybe you can go to a library when they come back from work; or maybe you can go to sleep early if they go to bed late. This will buy you easy and light hours of your existence.
“But I’ve known him for ages” or “I can’t just severe our friendship” scenario. The more you value yourself, the less time you spend with people who don’t value you. It’s time to raise your self-esteem. If you willingly choose to spend time with toxic people, your self-esteem is low, and deep within you think you deserve such treatment. Raise your self-esteem and excuses to remain with toxic people will disappear.
Identify the toxic personality types. Toxic people make you feel worse than when you started talking to them. They bring your energy level down. We all have our down days, and each of us is prone to the blues now and then. However, when it comes to toxic people, the blues appear to be a permanent state of being and feeling down, glum, angry, attention seekers, etc. It becomes a primary personality trait rather than a temporary state of mind.
Be familiar with the company you keep. Analyze friendships, family relationships, working colleagues, and decide objectively just how healthy these people are in terms of your overall well-being and composure. Do they bring out the best in you or do you serve as a sponge for all their problems and miseries? If the latter is the case, for your own sanity and well-being, let them go. This might be really hard initially because of the expectations and sense of obligation that builds up in relationships but staying with people who lead you into constant misery isn’t going to be rewarded, so don’t subject yourself to it.
Don’t deal with blamers. When dealing with blamers, shift the perspective. While the toxic personality wants another person to take the blame for a situation, stay calm and keep insisting that the problem be solved instead of discussing whose fault it is. Seeking to blame someone keeps things static and stuck in time, and a solution won’t be found because it has been lost from sight and the blamer doesn’t want to take responsibility for improving their own situation anyway. Stick to the facts and point out what needs to be done to fix a problem. If they become hot-headed or violent, remove yourself from them and allow them the space to calm down.
Distance yourself. When you delete toxic people from your environment it becomes a lot easier to breathe. If the circumstances warrant it, leave these people behind and move on when you must. Disengage yourself from their company politely by minimizing contact until a healthy distance can be maintained. You need this time to ponder and reflect on saving and preserving yourself, drawing on the optimism, hope and positive energy you have within. Seriously, be strong and know when enough is enough! Letting go of toxic people doesn’t mean you hate them, or that you wish them harm; it simply means you care about your own well-being. This is the most obvious and best way to deal with toxic people because no matter how much you try to protect yourself, sometimes they still find a way to do damage.
Realize your worth. You need to feel as if you’re worthy of achieving your goals and changing into the person you want to be. Letting go of any negativity in your life will help you get there faster. You’ve got to be committed to doing this for yourself otherwise your guilt for letting go of certain relationships will keep you in the same place. Make the choice and decide that it’s time you committed to yourself, your goals, and your dreams and you won’t let anything stop or slow you down from getting there.
Protect yourself. Take up practices that help to ground you. Some things that might help you include meditation, yoga, reflection in nature, martial arts, endurance sports, a hobby that fulfills a passion, etc. Find something that calms and centers you and to which you can retreat when you need to re-energize yourself.
Respect yourself. The more you value yourself, the less time you spend with people who don’t value you. It’s time to raise your self-esteem. If you willingly choose to spend time with toxic people, your self-esteem is low, and deep within you think you deserve such treatment. Raise your self-esteem and excuses to remain with toxic people will disappear.
Hope these thoughts serve as a reminder that we all have the capacity to display behavior that can be toxic to others. Staying mindful of this fact can only help to minimize the potential that we have to bring others down. To become the master of your life, firstly you need to master your Self. Strengthen the inner core to get in control of your emotions, finances, relationships, and all aspects of life.
If you have any thoughts on how to effectively deal with people who may be toxic to your health, try to meditate, figure it out yourself, and listen to our Motivating Positive Energy: Relaxing Subliminal Meditation For Motivation and Success video.
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